Chapter 21: ALONE: part IV

Chapter 21:  ALONE:  part V

looking back, i don't see how i didn't faint, all of that fluid coming out of me at once, maybe because it wasn't in my central circulatory system, it was just like accessory excess fluid, that it didn't affect my blood pressure or anything.




anyway, back to subject, i wobbled to the bathroom, holding my gown so it wouldn't get more soaked and so i wouldn't trip on it. i weeble-wobbled toward the bathroom, and an aide with a mop walked in just as i reached the bathroom door.



she just looked at me, the mess, the bed, then back at me who was holding my gown in one hand and the IV pole in another hand. her eyes got real wide and she said 'what happened here!' in a voice that got high pitched at the end of her sentence, and in her southern accent. she just looked, she didn't know what to do.



i, myself, was a little aghast about the scene and in disbelief how bloody everything was. I just stood there, trying to keep my composure, and said, 'i'm ok...it's fluid from the chest tube. M just took the chest tube out of me. I had to pee.'



she never asked if i was ok. but she sure was shocked. she turned around to get G and i continued to the bathroom. I just had to pee so i didn't take long. G and the cleaning lady walked in and they mumbled amongst each other. I just stood there, helpless, what could i do or say, it wasn't my fault. I think i said, among their mumbling, 'i'm sorry,' in a weak voice...



Finally G got her nursing composure back and said, 'i'll handle it, i'll take care of it, i'll just clean it up, ok?'



so she left to get some linens and i hobbled back toward the bed. she had me sit on the chair, still dripping a little and completley naked and shaking and trembling.



i was tired, spent, and a little ashamed at the mess i had made, but there was nothing i could do, i was so tired but i sat up straight because i'd be MORE tired if i had to sit slumped.



i felt bad for G, i know she had other things to do for other patients, and i think she had been having a difficult day anyway in general, and she had to stop everything and tend to the mess i made.



but she did it, didn't complain, like a good old-fashioned nurse, did what she had to do, changed the bed linens, cleaned up the splatters on the floor, and put a new gown on me, all within a few minutes.



i still felt bad about it. we got me back in the bed with plenty of those incontinence pads on the bed this time, and she put on another dressing with a LOT of tape.



then finally i had a chance to catch my breath again, but boy was i tired. i was so tired, i was too tired to catch my breath!

JOANNAJEAN
(part VI next...)