ch14; My Surgery is Tomorrow...
the day his prozac kicked in...
Wish me luck...i think it will go ok...
i will sleep most of the day which is fine by me, they said they would try to keep me sedated and try to keep the pain under control the best they can...
i just hope there r no complications and everything goes smooth and it doesn't hurt too much...
T finally wrote me an email back to me which i appreciated because i just wanted to know that he still cared about me and stuff...
i don't know what will happen...i know what i WANT to happen...but no one knows why things happen, if that makes any sense...
Anyway, i hope everyone has a nice week, that's about all i can really think of to say...
JOANNAJEAN
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
ch13;friday
ch13;friday
the day his prozac kicked in...
i saw the doctor on monday, i've been upset ever since. THAT is why i haven't written...
i had trouble on wednesday getting my pain medication. i must be blacklisted...
do u know how it feels to be accussed of 'drug seeking' when it's obvious u have chronic, back wrenching pain, ALL THE TIME...
it makes me feel like people don't care about me.
my parents and sister have been very nice to me.
my 'mother-in-law' was nice enough to drop off my DVDs and my diamond ring which i have been asking for for 2 years...
but T hasn't answered me back...i feel like no one cares about me, it would mean so much to me if i knew he cared, if he called, if he came over to say goodbye, or even just to visit...
am i even worth this huge surgery that i have to do?
it's going to hurt, and i will have no husband to hold my hand, to comfort me,
i don't know if most people understand, but it's a big difference when your husband is there for you, it's a different bond than a family bond...
and i'm going to hurt and be scared, and my parents can't help much because they don't want me to love T anymore,
but i can't help it, u feel what u feel.
sorry i have not written since monday or whatever.
it was nice to see my neice, but it wore me out.
and now i want to have a baby too because she is so sweet, and i am sad i cannot see her again for a long time.
i try to sleep so i am not sad.
i am not brave enough right now to 'face it' and be brave. it's going to hurt and i know it, and it's going to hurt for a long, long while.
i got back my diamond ring (finally) today, but when i looked at it, there was no love there, it was dull, kinda 'spitting me in the face',
saying 'ha ha, your husband doesn't love u anymore...' ha ha, ha ha, ha ha, you are not worth anything anymore, ha ha ha ha, it was all a big joke...that's how i feel...
it doesn't even fit on me anymore because i lost so much weight, and i found out that the blood test from monday said i am anemic.
great, going into heart surgery, when i'm anemic, is not a good sign...
going into heart surgery when i'm only 100 pounds is not a good sign...
going into heart surgery when i am sad because my husband doesn't care and won't even see me or call me or email me to say, 'i care, and good luck...'
that's the worst for me because i believe in 'mind over matter' and that attitude and how u feel when you go into surgery makes a big difference.
knowing that T doesn't care makes a HUGE difference...it makes me more scared...
...the cats are giving me very, very strange stares, like they know i will be leaving...
i am afraid my guardian angels are not watching over me here on earth anymore, i am afraid they are waiting for me in heaven.
i can't sleep at night...
i'm afraid of the pain the surgery will be...why did god, or whoever is in charge, do this to me...
and if i am in pain, and they can't control it, they will just let me suffer...maybe they don't care either...
i liked when T cared about me...it gave me strength and motivation to get better...my family is being nice to me, but only because, i think, they have to be nice to me...
i don't have a good feeling about this.
i am scared and i am going to be alone. i need T to hold my hand...he doesn't have to be there all the time, just a little bit to hold my hand, he doesn't even have to say anything...
this hospital is the farthest one from my home, my parents will only be only be able to visit me for a little bit, maybe even not every day!
it will be too hard on them. it will be too hard on them to help me when i get home.
i know they don't want to have to help me, it's too hard, on everyone,
i don't have the confidence, strength, courage, and not going to be able to be brave.
i get so tired lately...
i have to have the surgery. i don't know how well i will recover.
T helped me so much,
how can he sleep at night knowing how hard this is for me...
...how hard he is making it for my parents.
i've asked almost everyone i know to ask him to help, to do at least SOMETHING, no luck.
i am sad and scared, and cannot sleep, and i get sooooo tired and my heart pounds and pounds and pounds.
i wanted to have a baby the same time my niece was born. it's just not fair.
i don't know how to get through the weekend. i want to be brave, but i have a feeling i will just get more scared as Monday comes closer.
why am i being punished? it's not fair...
JOANNAJEAN
the day his prozac kicked in...
i saw the doctor on monday, i've been upset ever since. THAT is why i haven't written...
i had trouble on wednesday getting my pain medication. i must be blacklisted...
do u know how it feels to be accussed of 'drug seeking' when it's obvious u have chronic, back wrenching pain, ALL THE TIME...
it makes me feel like people don't care about me.
my parents and sister have been very nice to me.
my 'mother-in-law' was nice enough to drop off my DVDs and my diamond ring which i have been asking for for 2 years...
but T hasn't answered me back...i feel like no one cares about me, it would mean so much to me if i knew he cared, if he called, if he came over to say goodbye, or even just to visit...
am i even worth this huge surgery that i have to do?
it's going to hurt, and i will have no husband to hold my hand, to comfort me,
i don't know if most people understand, but it's a big difference when your husband is there for you, it's a different bond than a family bond...
and i'm going to hurt and be scared, and my parents can't help much because they don't want me to love T anymore,
but i can't help it, u feel what u feel.
sorry i have not written since monday or whatever.
it was nice to see my neice, but it wore me out.
and now i want to have a baby too because she is so sweet, and i am sad i cannot see her again for a long time.
i try to sleep so i am not sad.
i am not brave enough right now to 'face it' and be brave. it's going to hurt and i know it, and it's going to hurt for a long, long while.
i got back my diamond ring (finally) today, but when i looked at it, there was no love there, it was dull, kinda 'spitting me in the face',
saying 'ha ha, your husband doesn't love u anymore...' ha ha, ha ha, ha ha, you are not worth anything anymore, ha ha ha ha, it was all a big joke...that's how i feel...
it doesn't even fit on me anymore because i lost so much weight, and i found out that the blood test from monday said i am anemic.
great, going into heart surgery, when i'm anemic, is not a good sign...
going into heart surgery when i'm only 100 pounds is not a good sign...
going into heart surgery when i am sad because my husband doesn't care and won't even see me or call me or email me to say, 'i care, and good luck...'
that's the worst for me because i believe in 'mind over matter' and that attitude and how u feel when you go into surgery makes a big difference.
knowing that T doesn't care makes a HUGE difference...it makes me more scared...
...the cats are giving me very, very strange stares, like they know i will be leaving...
i am afraid my guardian angels are not watching over me here on earth anymore, i am afraid they are waiting for me in heaven.
i can't sleep at night...
i'm afraid of the pain the surgery will be...why did god, or whoever is in charge, do this to me...
and if i am in pain, and they can't control it, they will just let me suffer...maybe they don't care either...
i liked when T cared about me...it gave me strength and motivation to get better...my family is being nice to me, but only because, i think, they have to be nice to me...
i don't have a good feeling about this.
i am scared and i am going to be alone. i need T to hold my hand...he doesn't have to be there all the time, just a little bit to hold my hand, he doesn't even have to say anything...
this hospital is the farthest one from my home, my parents will only be only be able to visit me for a little bit, maybe even not every day!
it will be too hard on them. it will be too hard on them to help me when i get home.
i know they don't want to have to help me, it's too hard, on everyone,
i don't have the confidence, strength, courage, and not going to be able to be brave.
i get so tired lately...
i have to have the surgery. i don't know how well i will recover.
T helped me so much,
how can he sleep at night knowing how hard this is for me...
...how hard he is making it for my parents.
i've asked almost everyone i know to ask him to help, to do at least SOMETHING, no luck.
i am sad and scared, and cannot sleep, and i get sooooo tired and my heart pounds and pounds and pounds.
i wanted to have a baby the same time my niece was born. it's just not fair.
i don't know how to get through the weekend. i want to be brave, but i have a feeling i will just get more scared as Monday comes closer.
why am i being punished? it's not fair...
JOANNAJEAN
Tuesday, February 23, 2010
ch12;scared?
Ch12;scared?
there's a song, i'm pretty sure by faster pussycat called scared...i remember requesting it on KNAC or Pirate Radio when I was like 12 alone in Memorial Hospital...THEY PLAYED IT...
I hate going to see the doctor...all she said today, with wide eyes was...
'go over "Five Wishes" with your Mom, 'go over the 'quality of life that is important with you with your mom'...'make sure you make lots of copies of that "Five Wishes" and send one to us...'
she said...
"you are resistant to a lot of pain medicines....be aware that it's going to hurt, and they probably won't be able to control it..."
she said...
"this is a BIG, MAJOR surgery..."
i asked her..."did they magnify that chest x-ray? my heart looks HUGE?"
she said..."yeah, THE HEART IS enlarged..."
she said she talked to the cardiologist...he said..."yeah, now's her window to have the surgery..." looking at the computer, typing something in...she says to me...
"so you do know if you don't have the surgery now...you'll go into heart failure...yeah...that can be fatal..."
i'm not mad at her...she's doing her job...a job I WANTED TO DO TOO! i'm glad i was by myself...i'm glad mom or dad wasn't there, i didn't have to be brave, i didn't have to sit up straight and pretend i wasn't nervous or hurting, i could look weak, i didn't have to look anyone in the eye, i could hunch over because i hurt, i didn't have to pretend...
oh, and she said...
"be sure you discuss with your mom if there are any complications how much 'quality of life' means to you..."
I said..."well, I don't want to be starved..."
I said..."but I don't want to be kept in a coma for more than a couple weeks..."
"but i think I have to think about the other things...'quality of life..."
don't want to be like chris reeves, he was miserable, i read his book...
don't want to be like the vegas lion tamer guy...he was in too much pain...don't want to hurt and be tortured by hurt or hunger, or wither away like the lady who crumbled away (remember, she was the big issue before the POPE died...)
I asked..."how does a heart-lung machine work..."
she said "i'm not sure, ask the surgeon..."
I said..."the surgeon doesn't need to see me...and I'm out of pain patches...."
well, she said "I don't want anyone to think u r doctor shopping..."
I started to sob..."i hate when people think that of me...it makes me feel horrible..."
i mean u can see the kyphoplasty on my side-ways x-ray...
my dad gave blood, THANK YOU DAD...but why was he SO MAD??? he seemed so mad about it...it made me sad...
the whole time I thought of T...but kept it mostly to myself...all our memories...he may have been BORED by all the little things...but i remember the little details, cherish the little memories, the times i made him smile, the quick trips to Wendys when we lived in POMONA...
i wanted to talk about him all day...all the little things i remember...but i know i won't see him...
he doesn't care...he doesn't care...he doesn't care...
forget about him...'everyone says that to me' forget about him...but they
DON'T HAVE A FLOWER CALLED 'FORGET ABOUT HIM'...
THEY HAVE A FLOWER CALLED
FORGET ME NOT...
but no one wants to hear about it....
i didn't sleep a wink last night....my heart pounds...i think maybe i'm so scared, i don't want to feel it...
she shouldn't have said 'it's going to hurt so much that they won't be able to control it...'
i've been saying the past 5 days thats MY WORST FEAR...
one week...i won't be here to pet the kitties...Tiny purrs when i say his name...
Daisy makes a 'currrdddly' sound when she comes aaround for attention....
Lucky sleeps in a little basket that's too small for him...
Mirage hears voices...
Lucy is mean for the fun of it, then waddles away like in that Disney move, i think the aristocrats, never saw it...
Missy works all day to keep her winter coat perfect and fluffy, she gorgeous...
afraid to go to sleep, don't know if i'll be scared tomorrow, everyone's being nice to me,
except the one person who i want to care about me, but i can't say it to anyone, they'll just think i'm dumb...but it was my / our wedding, i was happy, why did he just leave....
he chose his life over mine....
i just want to know he cares...i'm mad i can't talk about it, i'm mad i can't say to anyone how much it hurts, i'm mad about what he said in that email...i thought he loved me a lot...it sucks....
next week, i'll be alone, hurting, tired, cut up, i DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN, complications? maybe....
why couldn't he just give me a hug goodbye...it's just not fair...not fair, not fair, not fair...
i'm the one who has to hurt....not fair..
i worked so hard to eat, be a good girl, gain weight...not fair, only gained 2 pounds...
i thought he loved me, i thought he cared about me...i don't feel stupid that i love him
...i want to crawl in his head and know how he can sleep at night....he knows how i feel....
IT'S NOT FAIR...IT'S GONNA HURT...I'M GONNA BE ALONE...i don't wanna be brave...
what else can i say....i just want a hug goodbye and a 'you didn't ruin my life...'
NOT FAIR!!!!!!
take care...
JOANNAJEAN....
there's a song, i'm pretty sure by faster pussycat called scared...i remember requesting it on KNAC or Pirate Radio when I was like 12 alone in Memorial Hospital...THEY PLAYED IT...
I hate going to see the doctor...all she said today, with wide eyes was...
'go over "Five Wishes" with your Mom, 'go over the 'quality of life that is important with you with your mom'...'make sure you make lots of copies of that "Five Wishes" and send one to us...'
she said...
"you are resistant to a lot of pain medicines....be aware that it's going to hurt, and they probably won't be able to control it..."
she said...
"this is a BIG, MAJOR surgery..."
i asked her..."did they magnify that chest x-ray? my heart looks HUGE?"
she said..."yeah, THE HEART IS enlarged..."
she said she talked to the cardiologist...he said..."yeah, now's her window to have the surgery..." looking at the computer, typing something in...she says to me...
"so you do know if you don't have the surgery now...you'll go into heart failure...yeah...that can be fatal..."
i'm not mad at her...she's doing her job...a job I WANTED TO DO TOO! i'm glad i was by myself...i'm glad mom or dad wasn't there, i didn't have to be brave, i didn't have to sit up straight and pretend i wasn't nervous or hurting, i could look weak, i didn't have to look anyone in the eye, i could hunch over because i hurt, i didn't have to pretend...
oh, and she said...
"be sure you discuss with your mom if there are any complications how much 'quality of life' means to you..."
I said..."well, I don't want to be starved..."
I said..."but I don't want to be kept in a coma for more than a couple weeks..."
"but i think I have to think about the other things...'quality of life..."
don't want to be like chris reeves, he was miserable, i read his book...
don't want to be like the vegas lion tamer guy...he was in too much pain...don't want to hurt and be tortured by hurt or hunger, or wither away like the lady who crumbled away (remember, she was the big issue before the POPE died...)
I asked..."how does a heart-lung machine work..."
she said "i'm not sure, ask the surgeon..."
I said..."the surgeon doesn't need to see me...and I'm out of pain patches...."
well, she said "I don't want anyone to think u r doctor shopping..."
I started to sob..."i hate when people think that of me...it makes me feel horrible..."
i mean u can see the kyphoplasty on my side-ways x-ray...
my dad gave blood, THANK YOU DAD...but why was he SO MAD??? he seemed so mad about it...it made me sad...
the whole time I thought of T...but kept it mostly to myself...all our memories...he may have been BORED by all the little things...but i remember the little details, cherish the little memories, the times i made him smile, the quick trips to Wendys when we lived in POMONA...
i wanted to talk about him all day...all the little things i remember...but i know i won't see him...
he doesn't care...he doesn't care...he doesn't care...
forget about him...'everyone says that to me' forget about him...but they
DON'T HAVE A FLOWER CALLED 'FORGET ABOUT HIM'...
THEY HAVE A FLOWER CALLED
FORGET ME NOT...
but no one wants to hear about it....
i didn't sleep a wink last night....my heart pounds...i think maybe i'm so scared, i don't want to feel it...
she shouldn't have said 'it's going to hurt so much that they won't be able to control it...'
i've been saying the past 5 days thats MY WORST FEAR...
one week...i won't be here to pet the kitties...Tiny purrs when i say his name...
Daisy makes a 'currrdddly' sound when she comes aaround for attention....
Lucky sleeps in a little basket that's too small for him...
Mirage hears voices...
Lucy is mean for the fun of it, then waddles away like in that Disney move, i think the aristocrats, never saw it...
Missy works all day to keep her winter coat perfect and fluffy, she gorgeous...
afraid to go to sleep, don't know if i'll be scared tomorrow, everyone's being nice to me,
except the one person who i want to care about me, but i can't say it to anyone, they'll just think i'm dumb...but it was my / our wedding, i was happy, why did he just leave....
he chose his life over mine....
i just want to know he cares...i'm mad i can't talk about it, i'm mad i can't say to anyone how much it hurts, i'm mad about what he said in that email...i thought he loved me a lot...it sucks....
next week, i'll be alone, hurting, tired, cut up, i DON'T KNOW WHAT WILL HAPPEN, complications? maybe....
why couldn't he just give me a hug goodbye...it's just not fair...not fair, not fair, not fair...
i'm the one who has to hurt....not fair..
i worked so hard to eat, be a good girl, gain weight...not fair, only gained 2 pounds...
i thought he loved me, i thought he cared about me...i don't feel stupid that i love him
...i want to crawl in his head and know how he can sleep at night....he knows how i feel....
IT'S NOT FAIR...IT'S GONNA HURT...I'M GONNA BE ALONE...i don't wanna be brave...
what else can i say....i just want a hug goodbye and a 'you didn't ruin my life...'
NOT FAIR!!!!!!
take care...
JOANNAJEAN....
Monday, February 22, 2010
CH11-Happier Day today
Ch11:Happier Day Today...
The Day His Prozac Kicked in...
I've been feeling bad that I'm not making any MONEY.
I've been making BRACELETS and trying to sell them on EBAY, but no luck selling anything,
*****WHAT IS EASY TO SELL ON EBAY so I can feel better and make a little MONEY and feel a little BETTER?****
I like CRASHED today until 2pm because I have trouble FALLING ASLEEP.
Also, My heart is POUNDING A LOT, which makes me nervous and resting helps it CALM DOWN...
My BROTHER B sent me some pretty pictures of where he lives in WASHINGTON, and that was nice, I like his pictures...
I got to go to STRAW HAT PIZZA with A, J, and R today, and my Mom, Dad, and Sister.
That was nice too.
I see the DOCTOR (PRIMARY) for all my PRE-OP X-RAYS, BLOOD TESTS, EKG and stuff. I need an important REFILL on a PRESCRIPTION...
I hope she gives it to me, because having to go to another DOCTOR on such short notice will be hard...
I also have to call the RED CROSS tomorrow to see if my DAD CAN DONATE BLOOD for me.
I don't know how long it takes to PROCESS the blood, and it doesn't really seem like he wants to DONATE for me this time around, I'm not sure why...
I'm still UPSET about what T said in that email the other day, i think it was RATHER CRUEL...but I haven't answered him back...
I have a feeling he was MAD because I asked help for $$$, I didn't ask him for the WHOLE AMOUNT i needed, so I don't know why it made him so mad...
but anyway...I didn't answer it back, and I have a feeling he's keeping himself really busy because he feels bad about it...
I didn't think much today about how much the surgery will HURT. I hope I will HEAL quicker and feel good, more energy and stuff...
I feel GUILTY when I am not doing anything PRODUCTIVE, that's why I like(d) TEACHING and MEDICINE...and it's frustrating when I am feeling weak and can't do much...
I would like to TEACH again...that would make me feel good, even TUTORING helps again.
I wanted to go GAMBLING before my surgery, but I think I'm just too TIRED to do that, and I don't think my DAD really wants to take me...that's ok...
...maybe I can save up some MONEY and go on a trip to RIVIERA after my surgery, that would be FUN...and if no one will go with me, maybe I can do it MYSELF.
I could get a TAXI from the airport and just stay inside at the RIVIERA, maybe it wouldn't be that bad...
I'll TRY to let u know what happens TOMORROW with all the PRE-OP tests.
I'm NOT looking forward to it because it's REALLY REALLY going to TIRE ME OUT.
TAKE CARE,
JOANNAJEAN...
The Day His Prozac Kicked in...
I've been feeling bad that I'm not making any MONEY.
I've been making BRACELETS and trying to sell them on EBAY, but no luck selling anything,
*****WHAT IS EASY TO SELL ON EBAY so I can feel better and make a little MONEY and feel a little BETTER?****
I like CRASHED today until 2pm because I have trouble FALLING ASLEEP.
Also, My heart is POUNDING A LOT, which makes me nervous and resting helps it CALM DOWN...
My BROTHER B sent me some pretty pictures of where he lives in WASHINGTON, and that was nice, I like his pictures...
I got to go to STRAW HAT PIZZA with A, J, and R today, and my Mom, Dad, and Sister.
That was nice too.
I see the DOCTOR (PRIMARY) for all my PRE-OP X-RAYS, BLOOD TESTS, EKG and stuff. I need an important REFILL on a PRESCRIPTION...
I hope she gives it to me, because having to go to another DOCTOR on such short notice will be hard...
I also have to call the RED CROSS tomorrow to see if my DAD CAN DONATE BLOOD for me.
I don't know how long it takes to PROCESS the blood, and it doesn't really seem like he wants to DONATE for me this time around, I'm not sure why...
I'm still UPSET about what T said in that email the other day, i think it was RATHER CRUEL...but I haven't answered him back...
I have a feeling he was MAD because I asked help for $$$, I didn't ask him for the WHOLE AMOUNT i needed, so I don't know why it made him so mad...
but anyway...I didn't answer it back, and I have a feeling he's keeping himself really busy because he feels bad about it...
I didn't think much today about how much the surgery will HURT. I hope I will HEAL quicker and feel good, more energy and stuff...
I feel GUILTY when I am not doing anything PRODUCTIVE, that's why I like(d) TEACHING and MEDICINE...and it's frustrating when I am feeling weak and can't do much...
I would like to TEACH again...that would make me feel good, even TUTORING helps again.
I wanted to go GAMBLING before my surgery, but I think I'm just too TIRED to do that, and I don't think my DAD really wants to take me...that's ok...
...maybe I can save up some MONEY and go on a trip to RIVIERA after my surgery, that would be FUN...and if no one will go with me, maybe I can do it MYSELF.
I could get a TAXI from the airport and just stay inside at the RIVIERA, maybe it wouldn't be that bad...
I'll TRY to let u know what happens TOMORROW with all the PRE-OP tests.
I'm NOT looking forward to it because it's REALLY REALLY going to TIRE ME OUT.
TAKE CARE,
JOANNAJEAN...
Saturday, February 20, 2010
Ch10-facebook
Ch10-Facebook & Visiting Family...
I learned a little about the internet 'SOCIAL NETWORKING' today when I visited my family, which actually cheered me up.
I got to see A and my brother and R my neice (I didn't ask permission to use names, so I just use initials for now...) don't want to get anyone mad...
I found out how to get on FACEBOOK and they said to 'post this link on your website,' so I'll try it...wait, it has my married name on it, which I don't have 'permission' to use either, so oh well...
I was in a funk, really really sad all day because 1) 10 days to my surgery, and 2) what T (my husband), said to me in an email yesterday. I don't want to remember it or repeat it, it will just make me feel bad again...
It cheered me up to see my neice. I think she's grown since last I saw her during the holidays in December.
Anyway, I guess I will keep this short.
I guess I will have my ups and downs by the time my surgery comes closer.
Most I am afraid of is the PAIN.
And I am mad, right now, at T, because I don't think he wants a divorce because he stopped loving me, he just gave up because things got too hard and complicated, which is sort of a PARADOX,
because one MAJOR reason I decided he was (would be) a good husband is because of how he was (is) so loyal to his family, no MATTER what happened (happens).
I NEVER THOUGHT HE'D GIVE UP ON ME OR OUR MARRIAGE.
IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.
I don't know, now I'm just BABBLING, so I'll try to stop...
Thanks,
JOANNAJEAN
I learned a little about the internet 'SOCIAL NETWORKING' today when I visited my family, which actually cheered me up.
I got to see A and my brother and R my neice (I didn't ask permission to use names, so I just use initials for now...) don't want to get anyone mad...
I found out how to get on FACEBOOK and they said to 'post this link on your website,' so I'll try it...wait, it has my married name on it, which I don't have 'permission' to use either, so oh well...
I was in a funk, really really sad all day because 1) 10 days to my surgery, and 2) what T (my husband), said to me in an email yesterday. I don't want to remember it or repeat it, it will just make me feel bad again...
It cheered me up to see my neice. I think she's grown since last I saw her during the holidays in December.
Anyway, I guess I will keep this short.
I guess I will have my ups and downs by the time my surgery comes closer.
Most I am afraid of is the PAIN.
And I am mad, right now, at T, because I don't think he wants a divorce because he stopped loving me, he just gave up because things got too hard and complicated, which is sort of a PARADOX,
because one MAJOR reason I decided he was (would be) a good husband is because of how he was (is) so loyal to his family, no MATTER what happened (happens).
I NEVER THOUGHT HE'D GIVE UP ON ME OR OUR MARRIAGE.
IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.
I don't know, now I'm just BABBLING, so I'll try to stop...
Thanks,
JOANNAJEAN
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)