Chapter 21; ALONE; part VI
finally after about like 20 minutes, when everything was calmed down and cleaned up and G had left, my dad walked in, and i was like, 'where the hell have you been! do you KNOW what i just went through!' well, i said that fleetingly in my head and just choked as i told him, 'dad, i stood up and HALF MY BODY FELL OUT OF ME..' i told him this in a weak voice and he didn't hear me. he said, 'huh?' and i took a breath and repeated, 'dad,' and took another breath, 'they took out the tube, and i stood up and all this fluid came out, it was like half of my body fell to the floor.' he just looked at me as to say again, 'huh?' He looked at me dumbly, then looked around - everything looked fine - and he said, 'hmm,' and sat down. he had no idea, and i was too tired to explain further.
i had already been through enough that afternoon. the chest tube coming out, then getting cleaned up. before that, G had brilliantly put in an IV in my left forearm so that the neck IV could be removed later.
also, i had had a strange call from JP earlier where he seemed to have no clue in the universe what the hell i was talking about, he just kept saying, 'yeah, well, i understand that...yeah, hmm.' i tried to explain how wrong it all was, but he either wasn't listening or didn't get it or was on something, so i just hung up the phone and shook my head, it wasn't worth trying to get him to get it.
so, yes, the rest of that friday was extremely traumatic, but at least my dad was there to kind of help me through it. M took the neck line out of me just before the end of shift. G was scared of me at that point and was avoiding us.
Then, to cause more angst... at the end of the day, we were all exhausted, and in comes the nutritionist to give us a delightful discussion about the wonderful cardiac diet, and to LECTURE me about the fact that i haven't eaten and dietary will take special measures to make sure i get something i can eat. my dad and i were so tired at that point, we didn't want any lectures about diet or what i should or shouldn't be eating. i think we were a little rude to her, and i swear she was in my high school class, but we were just so tired...
dad stayed with me, tried to get me to eat some dinner, i think he helped me eat a little of it. my taste was all off after getting so many tubes taken out of me.
I shouldn't have tensed so much when M took out the neck line, because it made it bleed more, and being tensed made my heart pound, which made the blood come out more, which wasn't good. i should have just relaxed, but i forgot, but it really hurt, all that tape, it was like she was ripping my face off, ick.
and afterwards, and for like 3 weeks after that, i had this horrible hollow-like headache, my head felt 'tinny' like it was a tin can with not enough blood in it, and my head would pound diagonally from where the neck line was, across to the other side of my skull, and then roll around the top cranium part.
so around 7 i was with dad, just trying to recover, and i was resting and like 730pm or so, P comes bounding in. it was nice to see her, and a surprise, and she had a strange, but appropriately suited 'psychadelic' get-well card, and a very pretty potted plant.
she was scared to death of me because my sternum scar was showing and there was blood showing thru the steri-strips. i didn't know that, or i would have pulled my gown up a bit. Poor P, she was very nice though, and stayed just a few minutes, she said she had a date she was looking forward to, and she was dressed the part. i was totally on the other side, you know, the real world vs. the hospital world, so i had temporarily forgotten about dates people go on, like normal for a Friday night, or parties or socializing or friends, or driving, or anything like that, normal.
i was just scared that there wasn't enough blood in my head and i felt a little wierd and spooky after she left. i told the night nurse that, and that i was scared. i shouldn't have been scared though because they had that wireless monitor on me, and apparently it worked, because a couple days later they came to check on me when i got out of bed and my heart rate went up to 140.
JOANNAJEAN
(part VII next...)
Showing posts with label fluid. Show all posts
Showing posts with label fluid. Show all posts
Thursday, April 15, 2010
Chapter 21: ALONE: part IV
Chapter 21: ALONE: part V
looking back, i don't see how i didn't faint, all of that fluid coming out of me at once, maybe because it wasn't in my central circulatory system, it was just like accessory excess fluid, that it didn't affect my blood pressure or anything.
anyway, back to subject, i wobbled to the bathroom, holding my gown so it wouldn't get more soaked and so i wouldn't trip on it. i weeble-wobbled toward the bathroom, and an aide with a mop walked in just as i reached the bathroom door.
she just looked at me, the mess, the bed, then back at me who was holding my gown in one hand and the IV pole in another hand. her eyes got real wide and she said 'what happened here!' in a voice that got high pitched at the end of her sentence, and in her southern accent. she just looked, she didn't know what to do.
i, myself, was a little aghast about the scene and in disbelief how bloody everything was. I just stood there, trying to keep my composure, and said, 'i'm ok...it's fluid from the chest tube. M just took the chest tube out of me. I had to pee.'
she never asked if i was ok. but she sure was shocked. she turned around to get G and i continued to the bathroom. I just had to pee so i didn't take long. G and the cleaning lady walked in and they mumbled amongst each other. I just stood there, helpless, what could i do or say, it wasn't my fault. I think i said, among their mumbling, 'i'm sorry,' in a weak voice...
Finally G got her nursing composure back and said, 'i'll handle it, i'll take care of it, i'll just clean it up, ok?'
so she left to get some linens and i hobbled back toward the bed. she had me sit on the chair, still dripping a little and completley naked and shaking and trembling.
i was tired, spent, and a little ashamed at the mess i had made, but there was nothing i could do, i was so tired but i sat up straight because i'd be MORE tired if i had to sit slumped.
i felt bad for G, i know she had other things to do for other patients, and i think she had been having a difficult day anyway in general, and she had to stop everything and tend to the mess i made.
but she did it, didn't complain, like a good old-fashioned nurse, did what she had to do, changed the bed linens, cleaned up the splatters on the floor, and put a new gown on me, all within a few minutes.
i still felt bad about it. we got me back in the bed with plenty of those incontinence pads on the bed this time, and she put on another dressing with a LOT of tape.
then finally i had a chance to catch my breath again, but boy was i tired. i was so tired, i was too tired to catch my breath!
JOANNAJEAN
(part VI next...)
looking back, i don't see how i didn't faint, all of that fluid coming out of me at once, maybe because it wasn't in my central circulatory system, it was just like accessory excess fluid, that it didn't affect my blood pressure or anything.
anyway, back to subject, i wobbled to the bathroom, holding my gown so it wouldn't get more soaked and so i wouldn't trip on it. i weeble-wobbled toward the bathroom, and an aide with a mop walked in just as i reached the bathroom door.
she just looked at me, the mess, the bed, then back at me who was holding my gown in one hand and the IV pole in another hand. her eyes got real wide and she said 'what happened here!' in a voice that got high pitched at the end of her sentence, and in her southern accent. she just looked, she didn't know what to do.
i, myself, was a little aghast about the scene and in disbelief how bloody everything was. I just stood there, trying to keep my composure, and said, 'i'm ok...it's fluid from the chest tube. M just took the chest tube out of me. I had to pee.'
she never asked if i was ok. but she sure was shocked. she turned around to get G and i continued to the bathroom. I just had to pee so i didn't take long. G and the cleaning lady walked in and they mumbled amongst each other. I just stood there, helpless, what could i do or say, it wasn't my fault. I think i said, among their mumbling, 'i'm sorry,' in a weak voice...
Finally G got her nursing composure back and said, 'i'll handle it, i'll take care of it, i'll just clean it up, ok?'
so she left to get some linens and i hobbled back toward the bed. she had me sit on the chair, still dripping a little and completley naked and shaking and trembling.
i was tired, spent, and a little ashamed at the mess i had made, but there was nothing i could do, i was so tired but i sat up straight because i'd be MORE tired if i had to sit slumped.
i felt bad for G, i know she had other things to do for other patients, and i think she had been having a difficult day anyway in general, and she had to stop everything and tend to the mess i made.
but she did it, didn't complain, like a good old-fashioned nurse, did what she had to do, changed the bed linens, cleaned up the splatters on the floor, and put a new gown on me, all within a few minutes.
i still felt bad about it. we got me back in the bed with plenty of those incontinence pads on the bed this time, and she put on another dressing with a LOT of tape.
then finally i had a chance to catch my breath again, but boy was i tired. i was so tired, i was too tired to catch my breath!
JOANNAJEAN
(part VI next...)
ch21:ALONE;partII
Ch21;continued;part2;
this was the CHEST TUBE, that hadn't been in long, but it WAS driving me crazy, it was making me neurotic, i was always checking it to make sure it was not clotted, and i was afraid to lay in the bed, thinking fluid would pool up in the bottom of my lungs...strange though, it didn't hurt - at all - but still, i knew i'd feel better when it was out, i'd feel a little more normal and less jittery and anxious.
yes, it WAS their voices i heard, but it wasn't ME on their list, not until about 2pm or so, and the spaghetti had gotten cold anyway, too bad too, because i WAS hungry and i could have gotten away with eating....anyway
M eventually came in, smiling and being good - bed-side manner-wise - and the nurse came in too, i have to give her credit, G I'll call her, i didn't trust her at all when i first met G, but she ended up doing a REALLY good job that day...so thank goodness for her...
ok, so M said she'd get the chest tube out of me. 'good!' i thought to myself. i was nervous, but i trust M, i know she'd do a good job, she was there that night when Dr. A had to put it in, oooh (shivers....)
so i rolled to the side and talked to them. 'i'm nervous,' i said, i was even shaking a little, trembling even. 'i want to make sure everything's sterile and everything...' M and G, they were kind and reassuring and M said, 'remember how to do this? take a deep breath IN, then blow out...'
i told her yes, but asked M to do it with me, and she was kind and she did, she breathed in, and breathed out with me as she pulled the thing out of me. I was relieved. It didn't hurt, but still, i said, 'GOSH, it's like pulling a snake out of me!' M just smiled, and G did too - she was busy holding me to the side so couldn't really do much more than that.
then M put a good, sturdy bandage over it. then she explained, in her thick, but kind accent, 'now, you might expect a little drainage from that wound. but that's ok, you'd want that stuff OUT of you instead of IN you, right Joanna?' i just nodded, i was still kind of out of breath from the trauma and being so nervous about her taking out the tube...
ha ha...the minute G let me go and i rolled back into the regular position, i could feel the warm fluid gush out of the wound and pool around inside the bandage.
'i can feel some of it come out,' i told M. She was just taking off her gloves and took a quick look and said, 'well, there will be a little drainage, but it hasn't soaked through the dressing, it's ok...' i knew she was already on to her next task, in her head at least, and was on her way out...
so M and G left. I felt a little more of the warm gush coming out, but i tensed up because it was making me nervous and i didn't want to say anything.
JOANNAJEAN
(Part III next...)
this was the CHEST TUBE, that hadn't been in long, but it WAS driving me crazy, it was making me neurotic, i was always checking it to make sure it was not clotted, and i was afraid to lay in the bed, thinking fluid would pool up in the bottom of my lungs...strange though, it didn't hurt - at all - but still, i knew i'd feel better when it was out, i'd feel a little more normal and less jittery and anxious.
yes, it WAS their voices i heard, but it wasn't ME on their list, not until about 2pm or so, and the spaghetti had gotten cold anyway, too bad too, because i WAS hungry and i could have gotten away with eating....anyway
M eventually came in, smiling and being good - bed-side manner-wise - and the nurse came in too, i have to give her credit, G I'll call her, i didn't trust her at all when i first met G, but she ended up doing a REALLY good job that day...so thank goodness for her...
ok, so M said she'd get the chest tube out of me. 'good!' i thought to myself. i was nervous, but i trust M, i know she'd do a good job, she was there that night when Dr. A had to put it in, oooh (shivers....)
so i rolled to the side and talked to them. 'i'm nervous,' i said, i was even shaking a little, trembling even. 'i want to make sure everything's sterile and everything...' M and G, they were kind and reassuring and M said, 'remember how to do this? take a deep breath IN, then blow out...'
i told her yes, but asked M to do it with me, and she was kind and she did, she breathed in, and breathed out with me as she pulled the thing out of me. I was relieved. It didn't hurt, but still, i said, 'GOSH, it's like pulling a snake out of me!' M just smiled, and G did too - she was busy holding me to the side so couldn't really do much more than that.
then M put a good, sturdy bandage over it. then she explained, in her thick, but kind accent, 'now, you might expect a little drainage from that wound. but that's ok, you'd want that stuff OUT of you instead of IN you, right Joanna?' i just nodded, i was still kind of out of breath from the trauma and being so nervous about her taking out the tube...
ha ha...the minute G let me go and i rolled back into the regular position, i could feel the warm fluid gush out of the wound and pool around inside the bandage.
'i can feel some of it come out,' i told M. She was just taking off her gloves and took a quick look and said, 'well, there will be a little drainage, but it hasn't soaked through the dressing, it's ok...' i knew she was already on to her next task, in her head at least, and was on her way out...
so M and G left. I felt a little more of the warm gush coming out, but i tensed up because it was making me nervous and i didn't want to say anything.
JOANNAJEAN
(Part III next...)
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Chapter 16; reminded of the CHEST TUBE...
Chapter 16; reminded of the Chest Tube...
Besides the surgery itself and the lengthy and PAINFUL recovery, when i look back, one of the three AWFUL things about being in the hospital this time was the CHEST TUBE.
First of all, it came as a SURPRISE. They had taken out the chest tubes that they had put in during the surgery on the 1st, but i knew there was some trouble when the tube looked clotted, but no one said anything.
Apparently, the tube DID clog, so that's why they took it out. It was a very small diameter.
It was around 9pm and the surgeon said "this is what we have to do. there is fluid in your left lung according to the Chest x-ray. But it's no big deal, finish your dinner..."
Well, i couldn't really eat after that. My dad had just left, and i was alone. Strangely enough, i had visitors, in the ICU no less, very kind of them and Mr. D gave me a word of advice that i actually used throughout my hospital stay...he said, "This will pass," and he's right!
So the surgeon and the RN prepped me and gave me shots and shots of lidocaine. i had only seen a chest tube put in once in medical school by an intern and the attending, and it looked horrible!
The lidocaine helped but i would have liked to have some sedation like valium or something so i wouldn't hurt so much.
he kept saying 'don't close your eyes, look at me,' which made my body relax more but i was still as stressed out.
i could feel the cut and them putting the tube in, then the soft tube and pushing it through. the lidocaine was ok, until he hit some SPOT an all this fluid came gushing out, like 600cc's.
there was a lot of 'referred pain' because of the trauma put on the nerve which affects the intercostal nerves.
Then, out of nowhere, i started screaming in pain! I cried, "what is that! why does it hurt soooo much???"
Dr. A calmly explained that it was good, meant the lung was opening up (it had been collapsed from all the fluid) and as it re-inflates fully, it affects all those nerves, those intercostal nerves and that's why it hurt.
Well, it RUINED my whole night. I was hungry because i didn't get to finish my dinner, and i had HORRIBLE muscle spasms in my back because of the referred pain, and i had spasms EVERY time i breathed.
I didn't get any sleep, even with pain medication, until about 3am, and then i only slept for 2 hours.
So, having the Chest tube in, and then finally taking it out, is a whole other chapter, both of them pretty bad.
JOANNAJEAN
Besides the surgery itself and the lengthy and PAINFUL recovery, when i look back, one of the three AWFUL things about being in the hospital this time was the CHEST TUBE.
First of all, it came as a SURPRISE. They had taken out the chest tubes that they had put in during the surgery on the 1st, but i knew there was some trouble when the tube looked clotted, but no one said anything.
Apparently, the tube DID clog, so that's why they took it out. It was a very small diameter.
It was around 9pm and the surgeon said "this is what we have to do. there is fluid in your left lung according to the Chest x-ray. But it's no big deal, finish your dinner..."
Well, i couldn't really eat after that. My dad had just left, and i was alone. Strangely enough, i had visitors, in the ICU no less, very kind of them and Mr. D gave me a word of advice that i actually used throughout my hospital stay...he said, "This will pass," and he's right!
So the surgeon and the RN prepped me and gave me shots and shots of lidocaine. i had only seen a chest tube put in once in medical school by an intern and the attending, and it looked horrible!
The lidocaine helped but i would have liked to have some sedation like valium or something so i wouldn't hurt so much.
he kept saying 'don't close your eyes, look at me,' which made my body relax more but i was still as stressed out.
i could feel the cut and them putting the tube in, then the soft tube and pushing it through. the lidocaine was ok, until he hit some SPOT an all this fluid came gushing out, like 600cc's.
there was a lot of 'referred pain' because of the trauma put on the nerve which affects the intercostal nerves.
Then, out of nowhere, i started screaming in pain! I cried, "what is that! why does it hurt soooo much???"
Dr. A calmly explained that it was good, meant the lung was opening up (it had been collapsed from all the fluid) and as it re-inflates fully, it affects all those nerves, those intercostal nerves and that's why it hurt.
Well, it RUINED my whole night. I was hungry because i didn't get to finish my dinner, and i had HORRIBLE muscle spasms in my back because of the referred pain, and i had spasms EVERY time i breathed.
I didn't get any sleep, even with pain medication, until about 3am, and then i only slept for 2 hours.
So, having the Chest tube in, and then finally taking it out, is a whole other chapter, both of them pretty bad.
JOANNAJEAN
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)